hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
