Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
