That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
