I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
