You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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