remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
