woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
