go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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