I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
