You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I need a beard to bite.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
