I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
