why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
