Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
