my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
