How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Randomize
