dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
