I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
