Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
