And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I need water and some morals
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
