Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
