I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
