idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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