He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
