Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
