ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
