nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
