if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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