so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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