you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just found puke in my bra..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
