I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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