just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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