I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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