You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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