It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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