i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is Oprah even human
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
