that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
