I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
