found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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