I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
