Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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