If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
did you just send me my own nude
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
