If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
