and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
