Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
