Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
