Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
