bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
