And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
