flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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