So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
