Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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